Andrew's Real Life of Autism

Crying Inside

(This post is written by Bridgette Taylor.)
“I met Andrew on a beautiful Saturday afternoon where I had the privilege of learning his story. Andrew (as you may know) is very frustrated with his body. It doesn’t like to cooperate the way he wants it to and that is exhausting. If he’s smiling it doesn’t mean he’s happy, if he gets up and walks away, it doesn’t mean that he’s not interested.
One day I noticed that Andrew wasn’t ready to learn as usual. I prodded him to find out how he was feeling. Let’s just say it wasn’t a good day. I felt hopeless. What could I do to help? I asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone and he said ‘yes’. So that’s what I did.
I cried. Then I thought. Then I wrote. I’m rarely inspired to write poetry anymore but Andrew inspired me. So I tried putting myself in his shoes and began to let the words flow. As a result I wrote this poem Andrew and I titled ‘Crying Inside.'”
Bridgette Taylor
Crying Inside

 
I feel a pain inside 

Like nothing I ever knew
It’s like a constant war
But there’s nothing I can do
I sit inside my head
With words inside of me
I sit inside my head
But no one cares to see
My thoughts are all I have
But thoughts aren’t always true
They whisper lies to me
With constance they pursue
I sit inside my head
And let my feelings go
I sit inside my head
Yet no emotions show
My body hates the way I think
It fights my every move
My brain is stuck with drastic hate
When my body won’t improve
I sit inside my head
Will God let me die?!?!
I sit inside my head
And scream out ‘why?!?!?’
I feel a pain inside
It hurts to form a thought
My eyes are dry, but not inside
I wonder when this will stop
I sit inside my head
I guess I’ll shut my eyes
I sit inside my head
As no one hears me cry….
(Point of view, Andrew Simmons-by Bridgette Taylor)

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